Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby.
Somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother, normal is history.
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct.
Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.
Somebody said being a mother is boring.
Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver’s permit.
Somebody said if you’re a “good” mother, your child will “turn out good.”
Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
Somebody said “good” mothers never raise their voices.
Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor’s kitchen window.
Somebody said you don’t need an education to be a mother.
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.
Somebody said you can’t love the fifth child as much as you love the first.
Somebody doesn’t have more than one child.
Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books.
Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose.
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery.
Somebody never watched her “baby” get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten.
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back.
Somebody never organized seven giggling Girl Scouts to sell cookies.
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married.
Somebody doesn’t know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother’s heartstrings.
Somebody said a mother’s job is done when her last child leaves home. Somebody never had grandchildren.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don’t need to tell her.
Somebody isn’t a mother.